


The $100,000 Pizza

by ChettaDrabbles (KOranges)



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fluff, I just wanted to post something cute ok, M/M, Stanley's Pizza, and this one has STANLEY'S
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 16:59:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11490714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KOranges/pseuds/ChettaDrabbles
Summary: Typically, Steve had a strict policy on not allowing Natasha to blackmail, bribe, cajole, or otherwise force him into going to charity events. He knew better than to blindly agree when Natasha openly begged him to escort her to any event. The last one had featured topless waitresses. The one before that had been artifacts from some famous Russian spy. But Natasha knew his weak spots. She had sent him pictures of starving children to get him here and promised a sophisticated dinner party.  So now he was here. And he didn't sense the trap snapping shut until it was already too late to escape.





	The $100,000 Pizza

**Author's Note:**

> Most of you guys know the drill by now, right?
> 
> Prompt: "Skin is not the strongest armor"

Steve looked around at the tall tables and the heavily decorated stage curiously. This wasn’t the dinner gala that Natasha had promised him when she’d sent him the invitation. Typically, he was choosey on where he sent his money. He said no to ten invitations for each one he accepted. But Natasha knew his weak spots. She had sent him pictures of starving children to get him here and promised a sophisticated dinner party. 

“What is this?” He asked her. 

“A charity event.” Natasha’s voice was innocent. Too innocent. Steve scowled. 

“What type of charity event?” He asked. This was all his fault. He knew better than to blindly agree when Natasha openly begged him to escort her to any event. The last one had featured topless waitresses. The one before that had been artifacts from some famous Russian spy. None of them had interested Steve in the least. Natasha’s smirk told him that she’d done it again. It was like watching a trap snap shut. 

“An auction.” Her smirk was dangerous. Steve sighed and closed his eyes. 

“Please tell me it’s at least art that I like.” He pleaded. 

“Not art.” Natasha took a sip of her drink and basked in her victory. Steve had no escape. 

“What is it?” Steve asked. He sulked good naturedly. With Natasha came vodka so he should be alright. Standard procedure was to just get too drunk to remember all of it. He didn’t have any other friends that ran in this circle that he actually liked. The next closest was Tony and that was stretching it. 

“It’s an auction.” 

“That’s what you said.” Steve sighed and steered Natasha towards the bar. This was going to take alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. “But what is being auctioned?” 

“Dates.” Natasha pretended to be interested in her shiny metal clutch. 

“As in dinner and a movie type date? That’s what we’re auctioning for?” Steve grimaced. 

“Probably just dinner.” Natasha reasoned, shrugging. "Maybe a happy ending." 

“Why does this feel dangerously close to prostitution?” Steve asked. 

“That’s what I said.” Natasha cheered. The look of thrilled excitement that came over Natasha’s face made Steve stop in the middle of gesturing for the bartender’s attention. Natasha looked like she might actually keel over from the excitement of it. “But with consent. So, of course, I was in.” 

“I consented to this?” Steve asked. The bartender tried to take their order but Nat cut in. 

“He’ll have an old fashioned.” She quipped. “And I’ll have a Bourbon on the rocks.” 

Steve groaned. It didn’t help that he actually liked a good old fashioned. It only added fuel to Natasha’s already raging fires. “You realize you can’t force me to bid, right? I’ll just write them a check without buying some poor person’s time.” 

“I know.” She nodded. 

“Then why do you still look so happy?” Steve dropped some cash as a tip for the bartender. 

“You’re not bidding.” Natasha grinned. Steve felt the trap snap shut. “You’re up for bid.” 

He downed his drink in one gulp and gestured for another. “No.” 

“Yes.” Natasha was laughing to herself and grinning manically. Steve felt slightly sick. 

“No.” He repeated. 

"It's for charity. And you like this one too." Natasha showed him a flyer. Steve winced. He did. 

"So I'm going to have to watch people throw money at a chance to have dinner?" 

"It's a silent auction. Stare at your drink and force a smile." Natasha countered. 

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Steve asked. 

“I already submitted the paperwork.” Natasha told him. She fussed with his suit and straightened his tie. “Why do you think I forced you to wear the navy suit tonight? It looks so much nicer on you than your black one. You’ll probably get the top bid.” 

“What?” Steve’s throat started to close up. He watched the bartender work anxiously. 

“Oh, I have bet with Tony that you’ll break $50,000.” She grinned. 

“What?” Steve nearly choked on the drink he’d just picked up. 

“Pepper put him up as well, but we don’t think he’s going for more than $5,000.” Natasha looked thrilled. “Everyone here knows how annoying he is. And how annoyingly in love with Pepper he is. His only hope is that Rhodes takes pity on him.” 

“But then he’d just have to sit through a dinner with Tony.” Steve made a face and she laughed. 

"And pay for it too." She joked. 

The lights dimmed and Steve gestured for yet another drink. He was going to need a large amount of liquid courage if this was going to go anywhere in the vicinity well. He had visions of tripping over his own two feet while on stage and making a complete fool out of himself. It wouldn't be the first time. It wouldn't even be the fifth time. Steve Rogers and public appearances did not always go well. 

Natasha was beyond excited for it to start. She was smirking from her spot next to him and while she appeared calm to everyone else, Steve could tell she was practically bouncing up and down. He sighed and picked up his drink before pulling Natasha to a table towards the edge of the crowd. They'd be out of the way. 

"You're up first." Natasha whispered, latching onto his arm to keep him from running. "I made sure of it. I'm not giving you the chance to back out." 

Steve grumbled. The whiskey in his stomach made him complacent. "Fine." 

"You'll have fun." She insisted. 

"I'm going to end up having to eat at that German place I hate with Alexander Pierce and you know it." Steve countered. Natasha snorted. Pierce had a not so secret investment in this horrible German restaurant and was committed to getting as many important people seen there as possible. 

"I hear the roter schädel is amazing." Natasha smiled up at him. 

"Really? I heard the last guy who ate it died." Steve made a face. Natasha took a sip of her drink. 

"Maybe that's what I heard." She considered. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen." The announcer, Phil Coulson, tapped on the microphone to get everyone's attention. "Thank you all for joining us tonight. We're so glad you could all make it." 

"Bring out the dates." Someone shouted. It's sounded oddly like Dr. Foster's assistant, Darcy. 

"We'll cut right to the chase." Coulson grinned. There was a cheer from Darcy and a round of soft laughter from the less uptight of the evenings guests. Both Steve and Natasha were laughing quietly until they caught the eye of Nick Fury, who was glaring at them. Coulson gestured for Steve to join him on the stage. He did so reluctantly. 

"Better behave." Natasha whispered. 

"Our first volunteer, is one I'm sure all of you will recognize." Coulson began. Steve's stomach tied itself in knots. "His claim to fame is his company, self-titled the world's 'First Morally Conscious' Pharmaceutical Company, which he started at the tender age of 25. He's lead initiatives both at home and abroad to bring affordable healthcare to the people who need it most." 

"And he has a great ass." That came from Darcy again and was followed by a round of laughter. 

"And he has a great ass." Coulson agreed solemnly. That drew even more laughed. 

"Can we get a little strut before bidding?" Someone else jeered. Steve felt the spotlight on him. 

"No." Coulson shook his head, but he was smiling. "Steve, give us a wave." 

"We're going to start the bidding at $1,000." Coulson's assistant, a pretty brunette, added. 

"$10,000." Someone called immediately. Steve flushed. 

"$10,500." 

"I'll remind you all that this is a silent auction. But only a $500 increase? Don't be stingy people, it's for a good cause." Coulson teased. "Can we get to $11,000? How about $12,000?" There was a flurry of hands. "How about $13,000." 

"$25,000." Natasha called. Steve put his head in his hands. 

"Oh, come on." That sounded like Tony. 

"$30,000." Someone else called. Steve took a casual sip of his drink and ignored the spotlight. 

"Am I going to have to define the meaning the word silent to you people?" Coulson challenged. 

The bets kept coming and the higher it got the more embarrassed Steve was. When it went above $50,000 he heard Natasha give a little cheer. It made the crowd laugh. When it was finally done Steve felt mildly sick to his stomach but mostly relieved. Alexander Pierce hadn't been willing to bet above $75,000. He stepped off the stage to where Natasha was waiting with a drink. 

"Was that so bad?" She asked. 

"Yes." Steve said immediately. 

"Oh, don't be such a grump." Natasha smiled. "You won the bet for me." 

Steve eyed her. "Tony could still win." 

"You think Tony will go over $100,000? Not likely." Natasha laughed. 

"You're donating your winnings to the charity." Steve told her sternly. Natasha shrugged.

"Of course." She agreed. "Well, Tony is. Technically."

"Where is he? Isn't he up?" Coulson was introducing some African businessman named T'Challa. 

"Next." Natasha nodded. "But he's talking to your winning bidder now." 

"Who was it?" Steve asked. 

"You'll see." Natasha smiled. She pushed him towards the group that had formed around Tony. 

"Look who crawled out from the rock you keep him under." Tony was teasing. He knocked the mystery bidder with his shoulder and made him turn around. Steve was frowning and still trying to find the best way to tell this person he was most definitely not on the market. They turned around and gave him the widest grin, causing Steve to stutter to a stop. 

"Bucky?" Steve didn't quite believe his own eyes. 

"Hey, Steve." The man just smiled at him. Steve couldn't help but grin back. 

"I don't hide my husband under a rock, Tony." Steve pulled Bucky in close to his side. 

"You hide him." Tony disagreed. "It's romantic, your little Cinderella story. Protecting him from the savagery of the upper class WASP nest we all live in. Pulling him from the despair of his solidly middle-class background. But you gotta let the princess out of the castle every once in a while." 

Bucky snorted. "He knows we grew up on the same block, right?" 

"Back before Captain America over here became the wealthiest Pharmaceutical CEO ever." 

"Tony, that's hardly an accurate way to describe our rela-" 

"And, true, that's partially due to the prosthetic technology that I helped you to create." Tony pointed out and took a few bows. "I can't compete against America's darlings. It's no wonder society loves you. You're young, handsome, and rich. Your husband wears that arm like it was made for him- which it was, by the way, by me." 

"This is about the bidding, isn't it?" Bucky challenged. 

"I think it's cheating." Tony declared. "Spouses can't bid on each other. It's a rule." 

"No, it's not." Natasha decided. 

"That's why Pepper didn't bid on me." 

"No, it's not." Pepper chimed in. Tony scowled at her playfully until she smiled at him. Meanwhile, Steve was still trying to wrap his head around Bucky being at the gala. Typically his husband had a hard 'not a chance in hell' policy in place to any and all public functions. And yet here he was, all tailored suit and slicked back hair. He grinned at Steve and held out his arm. They made their way away from the group for a moment of privacy before the well-wishers descended.

"I believe you owe me a date." Bucky winked at him. 

"You bid on a date with your husband?" Steve asked. Bucky grinned, clearly proud of himself. 

"Oh, like you wouldn't have cut a check for at least that much. I figure I saved us at least another fifty grand." He teased. "And this way you don't have to go to that disgusting place with Pierce. Two birds with one stone." 

"You saved me." Steve ignored his friends jeering and leaned down to kiss his husband. 

"And our bank account." Bucky pointed out. 

"Our bank account would have survived." Steve told him. "I'm not sure I would have." 

Bucky laughed. "You're writing them a second check, aren't you?" 

"It's for _orphans_ , Bucky." Steve pointed out. 

"You big softy." Bucky teased him. But he smiled fondly and leaned his head on Steve's shoulder. 

"Where do you want to go for your dinner?" Steve asked. 

"How about Stanley's?" He suggested. Steve raised an eyebrow. 

"You bid a hundred thousand and all you want is to go get pizza?" Steve teased. Bucky grinned. 

"It could have been a million dollars and I'd still just want to go get pizza." He shrugged. 

"I could take you to Paris and get Pizza there." Steve told him. His husband made a face. 

"But then it wouldn't be Stanley's. You can't beat Stanley's." Bucky shook his head. 

"You're right about that." Steve nodded. 

"And you know how I feel about leaving Phasma." Bucky continued. Steve had to roll his eyes. 

"I swear you love that cat more than you love me." He challenged. 

"Not possible." Bucky pulled Steve down for a kiss, ignoring everyone staring at him. Steve knew it had taken a lot for Bucky to come out tonight and loved that his husband would do it for him. But when Tony started cheering them on, Steve had to pull back. He blushed slightly and gave a small wave to his friends before taking his husband's arm. 

"Lets go get that pizza." He whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW number 20! Guys, I hate sharing my work so this is honestly crazy to me. But there's lot more where this came from. Let me know what you guys think in the comments below. Critiques, requests, suggestions for what to post next all welcome!


End file.
